Word: oatmealization
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...tires have turned out to be worth much more. An Oklahoma salvage entrepreneur plans to erect a huge shredder at Heidelberger's place; he aims to process the tires to extract oil, added as a rubber-softening agent during manufacture, and steel belting, and to make an oatmeal-like material that can be mixed with hard coal to provide smooth-burning fuel for generating electricity. The salvager's price: 390 to $5 a tire, or as much as $9 million for the whole pile...
...over mercury in fish, bug spray on tomatoes, too much sugar in baby food, bacterial contamination in canned and frozen foods, red dye in anything. The big swing towards "health foods" is an indicator of this consumer anxiety--every supermarket has its granola, three times as costly as the oatmeal on the next shelf. Good eating, once an economic luxury, is a gain becoming a privilege as the price of coffee rises. But can you really give up the caffeine...
...stopped digesting the Globe and the Times with my morning Maltex oatmeal and o.j. Reports of Hanafi gunmen upset my stomach, and interest rate changes give me heartburn. So I read the weekly accounts of amazing occurences that are happening right under our very noses: your nose, my nose, Walter Cronkite's nose. I read the schlock news, in papers like Midnight, National Enquirer, and the Star...
...blow up their explosively clever new show, at this very moment. For as you peruse these very lines, they are forced to stand by in suspended animation, waiting for your cue to move. So don't be shy; start yelling out at them your shoesize, your pet peeve, your oatmeal brand. The Next Move, Boston's latest entry in the improvisational theater, can't go on without...
FAVORITE DRINK: The Franklin Fizzie (one part Dewar's Scotch, one part Hood milk, a dash of Quaker oatmeal, a cherry fizzie and a scoop of scrapple...