Word: onions
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...give Venezuelans a more equitable distribution of sunlight and, in the words of science and technology minister Hector Navarro, help "organize the country and social life in a more rational manner." Upon hearing the proclamation, a U.S. newspaper suggested recent headlines made the Caracas press read like The Onion, and drew comparisons between Venezuela and Woody Allen's film Bananas. In that movie, Allen's revolutionary hero-turned-president declares that from now on his people must change their underwear every half hour and wear it on the outside "so we can check." In Venezuela this past August...
...small step from WWN ("America's Only Reliable Newspaper") to The Onion ("America's Finest News Source"). Soon the Onion staff found jobs as writers or producers on Late Night With David Letterman, The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, and were festooned with Emmys and movie deals. But the hip mainstream ignored the WWN writers; they continued to toil away anonymously in American Media Inc.'s Boca Raton, Fla., home office, whose most severe brush with notoriety was during the anthrax attacks of Sept. 2001, when a photo editor opened an envelope containing the bacteria and was killed...
...late-'80s-early-'90s heyday to a current circulation under 100,000. Old-time staffers complain the paper's quality went in the commode when the veterans were replaced by young comedy writers. But the real explanation, I think, is that fake news has spread beyond The Onion and the satirical TV shows to the front pages of the most distinguished newspapers. Over the past six years we've read such headlines...
...scheduled four-day bow and arrow competitions using tin cans and wooden posts as targets, with the winner receiving a bag of potato chips. Tired of eating their 4,000-calorie ration boxes that contained dried foodstuffs and chocolate, the soldiers express joy when friendly locals provide Afghan bread, onion and chilies...
...these rising house values added trillions to our sense of national wealth, but it is an illusion. If everybody, or even a fraction of everybody, tried to cash in on this rising value, prices would collapse, and the value would disappear. (By contrast, there aren't millions of onion owners counting on the value of their onions to keep going up year after year.) Economists predicted for years that something like this would happen as the boomer generation aged. Nobody believed them...