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This is an exclusive club. Not just any Johnny-come-lately can qualify. But fear not--there's still plenty of excitement to be had. Ever dedicated to ensuring the satisfaction of our readers, The Crimson has compiled the following crib sheet for passing the Sperm 101 Oral Exam (administered over the phone). Included are the answers given by our upstanding crusading reporter...
...experimental treatment for rheumatoid arthritis -- oral doses of & collagen extracted from chicken cartilage -- can reduce and even eliminate swelling and joint pain, with no major side effects. Rheumatoid arthritis is an autoimmune disease in which the immune system attacks the body's own tissues--in this case, collagen-rich cartilage. Doctors theorize that the collagen treatments desensitize immune cells and stop the attacks...
...partly because it is not especially bizarre or lurid. At least not by the standards of the Southern California trial it comes from. Other testimony last week moved some jurors to tears, as Lyle Menendez described how, when he was seven years old, he had been forced to perform oral sex on his father and later had been sodomized with a toothbrush. Lyle, now 24, and his brother Erik, 21, are seeking to explain why they burst into the television room of the family's $5 million Beverly Hills mansion on the night of Aug. 20, 1989, and killed their...
...tiniest detail, crushing any aspirations to independence by handing out cruel punishments for trivial offenses. Much worse, he testified, when he was seven, Jose "would be in the bathroom, and he'd put me on my knees. He'd guide me in all my movements, and I'd have oral sex with him." Also, "he used objects, a toothbrush, some sort of utensil brush . . . he'd take my pants off, lay me on the bed. He'd have a tube of Vaseline, and he'd just play with me." Worse yet, "he raped me." Lyle testified that he took...
...oral technique is also beneficial in that it arrests immune response before the onset of arthritis, effectively nipping the disease in the bud. A third advantage of the collagen solution is that it has shown low levels of toxicity in studies to date...