Word: oscared
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...suggested opening her speech by saying she understands that members of the Oscar audience don't want to hear from a sound mixer because they're only interested in the fame and glamour of sound editors. Anna flinched at that idea because apparently the relationship between sound mixers and editors is a little tense. So I suggested coming up with a list of people she wasn't going to thank, including the stars and director, since they would never thank the sound mixer. Anna said she'd like to avoid antagonizing J.J. Abrams, the powerful director of Star Trek...
...professional writer, a crucial part of my job is analyzing other people's writing in order to make fun of it and feel superior. And by far the worst writing inflicted on the largest audience each year is the Academy Award acceptance speech. So on behalf of Oscar viewers everywhere, I offered my punch-up services for free to several of the nominees this time. All of them turned me down. Their main concern seemed to be revealing their speeches in advance to a journalist. They must be aware of the making-fun part...
...know what a sound mixer does: she mixes sound. I met Anna four years ago, when I attempted to prove that fashion publicity had gotten so out of control that even a sound mixer could get a designer to lend her a dress for the Oscars. A $2,650 Escada dress, a $1,195 black Swarovski-crystal purse and a $45,000 Erica Courtney diamond bracelet later, I had proved that I am the gayest investigative journalist in the world. (See pictures of the best Oscar dresses...
...nominated for Star Trek, and her speech had to represent them while they stood behind her wielding heavy metal statues. I was starting to understand that my goal for the speech - to be an attention-seeking jerk in front of millions of people - was different from that of most Oscar winners, who have complicated agendas they need to get across in 45 seconds. The only time I accomplished something this difficult in 45 seconds was in high school, and I had intended to make it last much longer. (See pictures of Star Trek's greatest villains...
...Anna, who has been nominated nine previous times and has never won, an Oscar would prove a lot, and she wanted people to know that. "I feel like if I do this, I can retire at any time I want," she tells me. Six years ago, when she was nominated for both Seabiscuit and The Last Samurai and still lost, she got so frustrated, she decided to run a marathon. "I kept thinking: I'm sick of not being in control, and it's so random. I want to be in control of something," she says. It was then that...