Word: oscars
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...give Stewart?s 10-minute opening monologue a gentleman?s B-intermittently funny, but not what I?d expected from the current god of comedy. The audience received his jokes indulgently but not warmly. He wasn?t David Letterman (another TV outsider who bombed as an Oscar host in 1995), but he wasn?t Steve Martin or Billy Crystal. There were moments when the usually unflappable Stewart, gauging the tepid response, made the flop-sweat asides of a bombing standup comic. (?Work with me.? ?I?m a loser.?) And part of his problem was that he was working against...
...which I mean, this New Jersey liberal offered a few mild gibes at Hollywood liberalism. He called the Oscar show ?the one night of the year when you could see all your favorite stars without having to donate any money to the Democratic Party.? He told the audience that, to many people, Hollywood was ?a moral black hole, where innocence is obliterated in an endless orgy of sexual gratification and greed.? (Pause for gentle laughter.) ?I don?t really have a joke here. I just thought you should know a lot of people are sayin? that...
...Attendees dressed the part. Brokeback Mountain writer Larry McMurtry picked up his best adapted screenplay Oscar in jeans and cowboy books. The Wallace & Gromit directors Nick Park and Steve Box accepted for best animated feature in cartoonish Paul Smith bow-ties. Presenter King Kong?s Naomi Watts wore a distressed Givenchy gown that looked straight from Skull Island. Fortunately, Best Actress nominee Felicity Huffman left her Transamerica look at home, choosing a low-cut gown that proves she?s all woman...
...night?s biggest color: Orange. Skin, that is. Jennifer Lopez, Jessica Alba, Charlize Theron and many others took Oscar gold a tad too far in the sunless spray tan booth. The Marge Simpson look only works with blue hair, ladies...
...Robert Altman has a youthful heart. Literally. While accepting an honorary Oscar, the 81-year-old director disclosed that he had had a heart transplant a decade ago, and received the organ of a woman in her 30s. Altman said he figured that gave him 40 more years in Hollywood. Someone should break it to the guy that in this town, a woman in her 40s is already over the hill...