Word: outbacker
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Dates: during 2000-2009
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...ingenue's hair goes, so goes the ingenue. With her newly-shaven Outback daddy, Rodger looking grimly on ( both he and Richard should have kept their beards) the Ogakor alliance held together tighter than Colby to his mother and sent a softly unraveling Elisabeth out of the tribe. She took it with spunk, doing an emotional version of Alicia's I'm-too-strong sass over the credits: She knows Colby, Tina and Keith did it out or fear - cause everybody loves...
...cool car? Yes, the Vexin' Texan kept right on ridin' in the penultimate week of "Survivor II" (but don't panic - there'll be an extra week of Doritos and Budweiser commercials when CBS sops up the last bit of ratings with the homecoming-themed "Back from the Outback" in two weeks!). For outracing his tribemates through a sort of Greatest Hits obstacle course (I think these guys are running out of new ideas, aside from putting Probst in blue this week), he got a Brand New Pontiac Aztec, With a Tent That Goes On the Back...
...Outback Internet Cafe? Good product placement for the iMac, but horribly treacly viewing, as CBS dragged the contestants' families in for a lifeline-style Outback trivia game to hand out the week's reward - which was neither food nor shelter but a half-hour "private chat" for Tina and her family. (And a $500 shopping spree, courtesy of the good folks at - well, I'm not telling. Take that, capitalist pigs.) Nothing like Internet-homesickness - set of course to a tinkling piano score - to make rugged survivalism cuter than a well-worn teddy bear. This is what...
...basically a listening-comprehension test, something intellectual, and thus a chance for the other four to topple Colby, but the Texan turned out to be Bush-smart enough to take it when the chef Homer Simpsoned it away. And hey - we all learned a few things about the Outback...
...Rodger, Elisabeth's "Outback Daddy," fell for the oldest con the book - the ingenue and her "sick mother" - and the Barramundi tribe is down to four. We're supposed to be thinking about the jury, but somehow the remaining four aren't the types to have tantalizingly made enemies - or lingering shadow alliances - in the Richard Hatch tradition. (Though we caught Colby, who is probably aware that he's morphed into something of a villain of late, trying to win back Jerri's woman-scorned heart by shooting a meaningful glance at her breasts...