Word: outbackers
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...this: Everybody had waited all this time, weeks since "Survivor" finished taping in the Australian Outback, so CBS could do it live. Thursday night. May 3, 2001. In the studio, recreated in the image of the real Tribal Council cave, with everybody in the same exact clothes they wore that fateful last gathering all those cutting rooms ago. And Probst was there, and Colby (who had really hit the pantry in the interim), and Tina, because in the hour before (in Television Time, that is) the cowboy and the nurse had entered into some weird suicide pact...
...lately, the sequel of the biggest television show, reality or otherwise, in modern TV history has taken a somewhat different turn. Maybe it's the Outback...
...ingenue's hair goes, so goes the ingenue. With her newly-shaven Outback daddy, Rodger looking grimly on ( both he and Richard should have kept their beards) the Ogakor alliance held together tighter than Colby to his mother and sent a softly unraveling Elisabeth out of the tribe. She took it with spunk, doing an emotional version of Alicia's I'm-too-strong sass over the credits: She knows Colby, Tina and Keith did it out or fear - cause everybody loves...
...cool car? Yes, the Vexin' Texan kept right on ridin' in the penultimate week of "Survivor II" (but don't panic - there'll be an extra week of Doritos and Budweiser commercials when CBS sops up the last bit of ratings with the homecoming-themed "Back from the Outback" in two weeks!). For outracing his tribemates through a sort of Greatest Hits obstacle course (I think these guys are running out of new ideas, aside from putting Probst in blue this week), he got a Brand New Pontiac Aztec, With a Tent That Goes On the Back...
...Which brings us to the emotional depths this show is willing to plumb. Last week's Outback Internet Caf? was bad enough as an Apple ad and a Hallmark prize, but at least it was mercifully short. Some tears, a marriage proposal, a couple of smiley faces and it was over. This time, Colby's mama didn't just come for dinner, and smear a little mascara over how thin he'd gotten. She stayed over. She came back and hugged everybody back at the camp. Everybody back at the camp cried...