Word: pageants
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...those who make it to Atlantic City, some have been pageanteers most of their life. Jennifer Curry, Miss Iowa, started when she was nine, was crowned Miss Iowa National Teenager and competed to be America's Miss Charm. Girls get the Miss America bug for all sorts of reasons: self-improvement, blond ambition, because it's there. In the pursuit of distant goals, kids can be wonderfully stubborn: some forge themselves into Olympic figure skaters, others into masters of the 18-ft. jump shot. The pageant hopeful may have this doggedness. She can't get prettier, but she can hone...
...women ("girls," in pageant parlance) grow savvier with each local contest. Many wear Firm Grip, a sports adhesive, to keep their swimsuits from riding up. Miss Vermont eats bananas to steady her nerves. Rebecca Gray, Miss Indiana, confides, "I have really fine hair, so I fill in my hairline with dark eye shadow." Even these beauty tips can't help them compete forever. There is an age limit, a kind of Menudo Line, of 25 for contestants. Elizabeth McIntyre, Miss West Virginia, is 24, and when she won her state title, she says, she felt "relieved. I was aging...
...this one show than in the rest of the year, five of the 50 promise a "classical vocal." Classical, perhaps; classic, perhaps not. To have a "talent" is not always to be talented. Then again, anticipating the mangling of a high C is one of the evil joys of pageant watching...
...recent years, in a nod to modernity and political correctness, the pageant has emphasized the contestants' dedication to social betterment. And they'd better be dedicated; each is required to speak on a do-good theme--a "platform" that will serve as her stump speech should she win the crown. This week's wannabes will plump for such causes as aging with dignity (Miss Hawaii), youth-violence intervention (Maine), alternatives to underage drinking (Nebraska), organ-tissue donation (Texas) and motivating at-risk children through music (Alabama). Miss California will speak in favor of sexual abstinence...
...nothing but troubles, this is something pretty goddam good." Horn means pretty goddam wholesome, but he's right. Miss America is good--if you remember that it's a once-a-year TV show that allows viewers to make bar bets on the status of young womanhood. The pageant is good for drama and giggles on a Saturday night. Nestled on the September schedule amid the Jerry Lewis Telethon and Monday Night Football, the Miss America show shares with those made-for-TV spectacles the lure of unpredictable thrills and gaffes, adventure and ennui. It's gaudy, it's fake...