Word: parental
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...kindergarten, children have a good idea which of their classmates are popular and which are not. But schools can take the edge off the situation through inclusiveness. "I can't remember ever going to a pep rally and having the skaters show off their talents," says Curtis Cook, a parent at Phoenix's Desert Vista High School. Says New York City psychoanalyst Leon Hoffman: "All kids need to belong, and if they can't belong in a positive way at the school, they'll find a way to belong to a marginal group like a cult or a gang...
Until recently, conventional wisdom typically classified a mixed-race child as being of the same race as the minority parent. But that rule is being challenged as more interracial couples insist that their children be allowed to claim all sides of their heritage--an approach that experts think makes for a more settled, secure child...
...approach, however, that requires diligence on the part of the parents. Project race (Reclassify All Children Equally)--a campaign started by Ryan Graham, a biracial Florida teenager, and his mother Susan--has won changes in the act college-entrance-exam forms and some minor alterations in the U.S. Census form as well as on some local and state government forms. But most of society has not yet taken to the concept of biracial identity. Most government forms don't include a multiracial box, and it's usually up to the parent to make sure a child isn't compartmentalized...
...they tend to be for all families, the years of adolescence and early adulthood are the most difficult. Extra effort and understanding are needed to defend against derogatory remarks about a child's looks or race. In later teen years, it's not easy for a white parent to explain to his dark-skinned daughter why other white parents don't want their sons to date her. Amy and Brad Russell of Mount Vernon, Iowa, refuse to let any of their seven multi-ethnic adopted kids use race as a crutch. They also know the struggle will be lifelong...
Just because the new brood is not her own doesn't prevent the stepmother from taking on substantial maternal responsibilities. "Because of the way they've been socialized, and because of social expectations, typically women have more pressure put on them in stepfamilies to parent and to take care of the kids," says James Bray, a clinical psychologist who did a nine-year study of stepfamilies that was funded by the National Institutes of Health. Meanwhile, the first wife may be antagonistic toward her successor. These factors place a heavy burden on the new family. About 55% of second marriages...