Word: parson
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...Brown alumni & undergraduates came news last week that Parson Faunce, reaching the retirement age of threescore years and ten and unrecovered from a sickness of three years ago, would be succeeded by another parson ? Doctor Clarence Augustus Barbour. Parson Barbour, staunch Baptist, prominent Rochester divine, President of Rochester Theological Seminary, will assume administrative duties in June...
...Parson Faunce (the name rhymes with Harvardized "chawnce") is short, dignified and deep voiced. He faintly resembles Cartoonist Bairnsfather's "Old Bill." He has poise, personality, pudginess. He invariably wears wing collars, four-in-hand cravats. Cigars have never yellowed his teeth; spirits have never tainted his breath. He is precise in conduct, a precisionist in speech...
Confession, counsel, poured forth. One time Parson Faunce confessed that, as a sophomore lad, his roommate had told him a bawdy story. It so poisoned his mind that (even after years of speckless living) its smutty ghost soared before him. Students were interested, and speculated on the story. No one asked President Faunce to tell...
...aversions are: Immoral students who study the conquest of Providence flappers more closely than the conquests of Macedonian Alexander; football rally stickers pasted on certain parts of Brown's ill-proportioned equestrian statue of Marcus Aurelius; intoxicating liquors, which Parson Faunce refuses to believe his young gentlemen drink; sexy modern novels, instanced by the case of English Instructor Percy ("Plastic Age") Marks who was asked to resign when his college novel reached Parson Faunce's sedate office. Percy Marks complied...
...Parson Faunce's hobbies are: Chinese students, of whom Brown's campus has a plethora; football, of which he knows nothing, but loyally supports; freshman teas, where gangling first year men stand awkward, watching Mrs. W. H. P. F. pour Chinese tea with deft, graceful hands; money-raising, of which he is past master, successful with everybody but Brown Graduate John Davison Rockefeller Jr., who has given Brown but one small building and but half of that. Tycoon Rockefeller would not give the money except with the proviso that the edifice bear his name. So Rockefeller Hall, undergraduate meeting place...