Word: pasta
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...Turkey Tetrazzini. Who ever put creamed poultry and dishwater pasta together? No one in their right mind...
Here's some advice to get you started: contact sympathetic alumni who will donate funds for your very own private kitchen. These alumni could also band together against administration to help you keep out the masses who don't know pate for the pasta bar. In addition, alumni can serve as useful connections in the real would once you graduate. After all, you want to stay ahead, of the aforementioned slobs who don't know which fork to use for what course. And shhh! Don't tell The Crimson...
There's Nero's ravenous tutor, Plato Pasta (Berman), who's busy planning his ideal Republic "with room for everybody...except for them frigging Corinthians." There's Plato's love interest Medusa Pade (Andrew Burlinson '97), a love-starved gorgon with killer head of hair...
Berman, as Plato Pasta, perfect the dippy Italian a la "My Cousin Vinny." Nye finds a way to make his one-joke character seem almost wistful. Hartman, as spacey Isis Melting, sounds just like Janis from the Muppet Show, and convincingly spouts her Woodstock wisdom. "Love," she says, "means never having to say I don't love...
Stories about her pettiness are legion: the time in Boston she telephoned the management of the Boston Symphony Orchestra to complain that the Ritz- Carlton's room service had put peas in her pasta; the time when, feeling chilly while riding in a limo in Southern California, she used the cellular phone to call her management company in New York, which phoned the limo service, which phoned the driver, who turned the air conditioning down; the time in New York when she and Luciano Pavarotti competed to see which could arrive later for a dress rehearsal. Battle has a penchant...