Word: patrioteers
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...Patriot...
...Crimson players are packing their bags-as well as the Ivy League's most potent running game after Week One-and heading out to the holy city of Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. There they will face one of the Patriot League's better teams, the Lehigh Engineers, in a contest that may feature some fireworks...
During the year's regular season, the Crimson defeated nationally-ranked teams such as Miami, which ended up finshing third in the nation, and UMass. After winning the Ivy Legue Championship, the Crimson defeated Patriot League Champion Army which led them to the Midwest Regional tournament...
...everyone here is thrilled to find themselves in the target zone. Disgruntled locals argue that the Air Force brass should at least have blushed and stammered for a moment when they admitted that the Patriots hadn't worked in the Gulf War after all; it was only the Pentagon propaganda about them that worked. As we now know, most of the Patriots, like most of the Scuds they were aimed at, fluttered harmlessly to earth. Hence the suggestion, from the disgruntled faction, that instead of upgrading the Patriots, the military should upgrade its propaganda machine until it's capable...
Naturally, we're doing everything possible to ensure that your Lower Keys missile-watching experience will be a safe and happy one. I personally spent two weeks trying to get the Air Force to answer a question about whether the Patriot-like missiles that will be coming at us from Eglin will be carrying warheads capable of blowing us up if they should miss the target missiles. To which I eventually received, in writing, the not entirely soothing reply, "The interceptor [Patriot-like] missiles are 'hit-to-kill' design or are a proximity-fused design which carries conventional explosives...