Word: peanut
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...know what you’re thinking: “I talk to myself sometimes! I, too, hit my face on occasion while eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches! Pretzels are delicious! How can I be sure that I won’t be mistaken for a creeper, like you were?” Luckily for you, it really is not hard to avoid the label of a “suspicious person...
...shouldn’t be so harsh, though, as I suppose there were a few things about me that may have raised a red flag in her mind. After all, I was just waiting there by the door, oblivious to the peanut butter smeared on my face from lunch and muttering to myself about the state of the Red Sox relief pitching, while eating old pretzels directly out of my coat pocket. I also was sporting a beard that, through no other reason but my own utter laziness, had grown to epic proportions...
...manufacturer responsible for such culinary legends as Chef Boyardee, Reddi-Wip, Swiss Miss and Slim Jim is racing to retrieve and incinerate the polluted peanut spread as quickly as it can. It has advised consumers to throw out any remaining Peter Pan in their kitchen cabinets, but it is also busy retrieving unsold jars from major retailers. The company refused to confirm whether it would actually incinerate all the offending peanut butter that is returned or still at the plant; there is also a provision from the FDA that allows ConAgra to irreparably "damage" or crush the jars and then...
...recall process will take a $50 to $60 million bite out of the company's bottom line this quarter, the company announced. ConAgra says it has long tested 60 to 80 jars of peanut butter a day at the Sylvester, Georgia plant where it produces peanut butter, but never observed anything irregular. The plant is now on hold, while its 100 employees work maintenance shifts and wait for the results of the FDA's investigation...
...Nationwide, Americans consume almost a billion pounds of peanut butter annually, though that number may drop now that Peter Pan is in Neverland. But ConAgra's problems amount to more than peanuts. The company is also recalling more than 400,000 pounds of Banquet-brand pasta and meatball meals that may have been undercooked. (Consumers were warned, on a hotline, to look out for leaking, bulging, or rusting products, or those with a foul odor...