Word: pencilers
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...profitable-when they are dead. English-educated Simon Bond, 34, a bachelor who lives in Phoenix and London, was encouraged to publish 101 Uses for a Dead Cat by his friend Terry Jones, a Monty Python regular. Deceased felines in Bond's black humor pose as toast racks, pencil sharpeners and potholders. Although the book has sold 765,000 copies in the U.S., the mood is too indigo for some ailurophiles. Says A.S.P.C.A.'S John Kullberg: "Coming upon the book is akin to being a member of the Moral Majority and seeing 101 Uses for a Dead Fetus...
...basic office structure has changed very little when compared with the rest of U.S. business. Xerox quips in an ad that the businessman of 1981 would feel right at home in an average 19th century office furnished with such "modern" inventions as the eraser-tipped pencil, patented in 1858. The level of capital equipment is also much lower than in a manufacturing facility. A blue collar worker today is backed up by $25,000 in machinery, while a white collar one has only $2,000 in equipment at his or her fingertips...
...room is dark, except for the figures dancing on the small screen, setting up, running and hitting over and over and over again. A grim expression on his face, his pencil almost rhythmically tapping on the table. The Man sits and watches. The Man is not happy with what he sees...
Wait a minute. What was that? The Man stops the projector and backs it up. Now forward again, this time slowly, Cuccia moves in behind the center and starts the count. Suddenly he pulls up and ambles off to the right, without the ball. What the.... The pencil snaps, and The Man pauses, as the absurdity continues. The ball is snapped back to the halfback, number four. Number four...he's rolling right...number four...and he's throwing a pass. Downfield a receiver is open, but the ball sails over his head...
...play, as Allard stepped over the line before he threw. Lucky Princeton. An overthrown pass and a penalty. Got to watch for that quarterback-in-motion. Sure don't want to be surprised, The Man thinks as he makes a note on his pad with a new pencil...