Word: perelman
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Dates: during 1940-1949
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...dentist strapped Sidney Joseph Perelman into the chair with six towels and forced his jaws apart with a blunt instrument. "Now then, where are his X rays?" he asked the nurse. "We haven't any," she said. "This is the first time he's been here." "Well, bring me any X rays," barked the dentist; "when you've seen one tooth you've seen them...
Firing a burst of compressed air down Perelman's gullet, the dentist chortled:"Well, friend, you may as well know the worst. These are the teeth of an 80-year-old man. . . . Who put those [inlays] in - a steamfitter? . . . Miss Smedley, how many times have I told you not to count the patient's money in front of him? Take the wallet outside and go through it there. . . . H'm'm'm, a cleft palate. . . . While we're at it, I think we'd better tear out those lowers with a jackhammer...
...dentist took up a hypodermic syringe "of the type used on brewery horses," and sank it in Author Perelman's gum. Then, he "snatched up his drill, took a firm purchase on my hair and teed off. . . Two thin wisps of smoke circled up ward slowly from my ears . . . [my] screams . . . rattled the windows. . . . 'Don't be afraid now,' chuckled the dentist, patting "the mass of protoplasm" that had once been a man; 'this won't hurt...
...Dental surgery is just one of the phases of contemporary life that are kicked in the teeth by S. J. Perelman in his latest collection of diatribes - 25 essays, parodies, playlets, mock radio dramas, most of which have appeared in the New Yorker. Other Perelman subjects...
...world of J. P. Marquand (So Little Time; H. M. Pulham, Esq.) - as viewed in Perelman parody - "Out of these things, and many more, is woven the warp and wool of my childhood memory: the dappled sunlight on the great lawns of Chowderhead, our summer estate at Newport, the bitter-sweet fragrance of stranded eels at low tide, the alcoholic breath of a clubman wafted on the breeze from Bailey's Beach...