Word: peretz
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Dates: during 1970-1979
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...commemorate Washington's Birthday, Bok lays off half the Buildings and Grounds Department, all Harvard employees from New Jersey, and basketball coach Tom "Satch" Sanders. "I cannot tell a lie," Bok explains. "He was just too fucking tall." Martin Peretz, master of South House, sells The New Republic and buys the Harvard Independent...
...first trial of Martin Peretz's new program of investigative reporting, an Independent editor discovers Archie C. Epps III, dean of Students, working, three months after Bok laid off all blacks. "They never noticed me before," Epps moans. "We had a beautiful relationship: I didn't bother Harvard, and it didn't bother me." Peretz awards himself a Pulitzer prize. "Liberals like myself excel at investigative reporting," he comments...
...second trial of Martin Peretz's investigative reporting policy, an Independent editor discovers that Stephen S.J. Hall's third name is Jose, and that Hall is still working, two months after Bok laid off all people with Spanish surnames. Hall agrees to go quietly. "If Roberto Ungar counts, so do I," he says. "El pueblo unido jamas sera vencido...
...tragic third trial of Martin Peretz's new investigative reporting policy, an Independent editor is dispatched to check rumors that the Lampoon's Ibis has been electrified to prevent theft. He never returns. "Things were going so well," Peretz moans, announcing the end of the investigative policy. "Liberals like myself are very concerned about human life. Besides, we already have our Pulitzer...
...Martin Peretz, munching a pork chop, takes up his new duties as special lecturer on Mormonism. "Gene says give the system one more chance," Peretz says. "Liberals like myself believe in religious pluralism." Rockefeller bombs Hanoi for Christmas...