Word: pets
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...equal opportunity, fair employment and freedom of information, then excludes itself from most of the laws that would help achieve those goals? How can there be anything but contempt for politicians who decry the projected $365 billion federal deficit even as they pour more and more dollars into their pet programs? Is there a case for the Keating Five and the way those purblind Senators opened their doors to convicted savings and loan rip- off artist Charles Keating -- not to mention the purblind way in which the Senate ethics committee investigated the offense? Will anyone speak up for Senators...
...weeks ago, the dog suddenly collapsed and pitched down the stairs. His distraught owners, afraid to move their beloved pet themselves, called an animal ambulance (cost: $25). Minutes later the comatose canine had been placed on a stretcher and rushed off to the emergency room. There a veterinarian ordered up a battery of diagnostic tests and treatments, many of which would have been unobtainable for humans only a few years...
...Plus $30 for a shampoo to wash away that nasty kennel odor. Flash will be sleeping on his favorite rug underneath the Christmas tree this week. Santa may bring him a nice rubber toy to chew on instead of those lethal sticks. And how about a pet health-insurance plan for his impoverished owners...
...five minutes, he manages to lose it. Blunsten returns home where success surrounds him: his wife, Marcie, is a slick newscaster. His daughter, Peppermint, gets promoted every week in her job at Taco Parade: first to Golden Sombrero, then to Aztec Sun God and finally, to CEO. Even his pet, Yipper, wins fame and glory as a rescue dog in the Himalayas...
Then there's the litany of Vietnam War-inspired policies. On his pet issue, health care (which Bill Clinton--who focuses on education--is at least as knowledgeable about), Kerrey advocates national health insurance for one major reason: "Government saved my life" in a vets hospital after the war, he told The New Republic and New York...