Word: pfeiffer
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...Egyptians deified cats expertly, but they could have taken a cue from the Hasty Pudding Club. The Pudding does it with style. Michelle Pfeiffer's coronation as 1995 "Woman of the Year" Monday exemplifies the clever, tongue-in-cheek adulation that greets one unfortunate woman every year...
Twenty minutes before Ms. Pfeiffer arrives a flock of four-foot tall girls from the Gymnastic Academy of Boston Team--each sporting cute black jumpsuits with the Team logo--appear from nowhere and begin to do somersaults and backflips on the cold, rough pavement...
...brightly mottled Mexican-looking garb prance upon the scene, offering contrast to the sea of tiny black jumpsuits. A disc jockey from a local station, his instantaneous live transmission equipment strapped onto his waist, starts to harass the kids with questions about why they are here to see Michelle Pfeiffer. The cattle truck suddenly starts to back up, almost crushing the little girls. They are rounded up by their teacher, who flails her arms wildly in an attempt to rein in the class...
...Michelle Pfeiffer, 1995 Woman of the Year, now steps out of the limousine to the thunder clap of one thousand camera shutters. Sporting a black beret and black sunglasses to set off her shiny blonde locks, the goddess is hoisted into the back seat by a jealous drag queen. She looks stunned. One reporter yells, "Michelle--give us a wave!" and she obliges, as another thunder clap of shutters captures the divine moment for posterity. Her devotees, the clowns of this star-gazing circus, go crazy...
...both in drag, and both willing to take a bullet for her). The police chief feigns true annoyance as he warns people to clear away. No one budges. The cattle truck is the first to go, and pulls away toward Mass. Ave. The cattle start to yell, because the Pfeiffer-bearing Saab has yet to move and they're being dragged away from her against their will. Finally, the Saab lurches forward...