Word: pg
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...will be lured by a flood of TV spots, a million-dollar-giveaway fast-food tie-in - and the chance to see Mike Myers pee into the mouth of a supine villain. This is what the sexually adventurous call a golden shower, and what the movie-ratings board calls PG...
...other popular gross-out comedies (like Adam Sandler's Mr. Deeds and Eddie Murphy's remakes of The Nutty Professor and Dr. Dolittle) as O.K. for adolescents and, implicitly, their younger sibs. Same for certain violent action films, like Steven Spielberg's Minority Report. These films are labeled PG-13, which does not restrict kids from seeing them (that, supposedly, is the job of the R rating) but does advise parents strongly cautioned about some of the content...
...These PG-13 gross-outs are the movie equivalent of a flaming turd left by pranksters on a teacher's doorstep. And the teacher - the victim - is not the nation's parents but its kids. Children are victims because they are being deprived of a prime rite of passage: the discovery of naughtiness in a furtive setting. Once upon my time, dirty jokes were passed from older child to younger like sacred texts from the Gnostic Bible. They had the frisson of the forbidden. Now they are the official culture, imposed by film stars, sanctioned by a PG rating...
...kids, Hollywood wants their disposable income. The 10-to-12 crowd helps pay the salaries and points of pricey artistes like Spielberg and Myers. A studio pays them so highly, it needs a guarantee that the film will be available to the widest possible audiences, so a PG-13 rating is often built into the contracts. The only thing dirtier than the gags in Goldmember is the money that's made from them...
...some of you saying. I say it myself. I fret I'm in danger of living out a haunting truism: that a conservative is just a liberal who has finally grown old or grown up. But I don't think I'm wrong here. I think the easy, sleazy PG-13 rating makes truly adult movies an endangered species. If even our most powerful filmmakers are afraid to make an R-rated film, how will American movies ever mature? And what will the preteens raised on Austin Powers have to watch - or want to watch - when they grow...