Word: pga
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...good friend of mine at Bucknell University tells me that his rounds of golf always remain evenly-matched down the stretch because "whoever wins the hole takes a shot of Tequila." Such a policy would be most useful (if not simply entertaining) in the PGA to ensure good players like Tiger don't get away with too large a lead...
Furthermore, players in the Senior PGA would greatly benefit from body-altering substances. One complaint from elderly golfers is that they've lost their distance off the tee. What better solution than Mark McGwire's home-run-inducing creatine. With a little muscle candy, Trevino and Palmer will be back to jacking balls well past the 300-yard mark in no time...
...want Casey Martin to have a productive year on the PGA Tour with the use of his golf cart. As I've said in "Justice" section, I'm for substantive equality of opportunity...
...PGA Championship was held in Medinah, which is in Illinois, which is in the U.S., but you wouldn't have guessed it by the 18th hole on Sunday, as the oles for Sergio drowned the roars for Tiger. You would have thought the tournament was being staged at Valderrama. Which is in Spain and was, by the way, the site of the last Ryder Cup set-to in 1997. The U.S. squad was heavily favored to win that matchup but lost to Captain Seve Ballesteros' inspired team. The Yanks were heavily favored to win the 1995 Ryder...
...among them, have been griping that they aren't fairly compensated to be embarrassed like that. Well, they're not. Twenty years ago, these matches had no commercial value. Now sources say the event will generate $63 million in revenues, some $17 million of which will go to the PGA of America and $5 million to $6 million of which will go to the host club. The U.S. players, meanwhile, each get a $5,000 stipend, which is clearly unfair, whether they plan to invest it in more greater-Orlando real estate or, as Woods and Duval nobly aver...