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...then had the audacity to beat John Kerry and John Edwards. The mention of their defeat is usually when “the sad eyes” emerge—that look that fills you with the hopelessness of a Kerry-Edwards-less executive branch. Proposed response to phase two: stay still...

Author: By Vanessa J. Dube | Title: Hiding in the Conservative Closet | 11/8/2006 | See Source »

...Phase one is the setup and begins with a few gibes at our nation’s leader. If you take for granted that all conservatives are idiots (which you do), then what better example than the President? Have you somehow missed his verbal blunders or the fact that he was a C student? It’s not like he was the CEO of a corporation, or the governor of one of the largest states in the nation. Proposed response to phase one: smile and nod. Come on, you don’t want to give yourself away...

Author: By Vanessa J. Dube | Title: Hiding in the Conservative Closet | 11/8/2006 | See Source »

...Phase two, the execution of the assumption, is when we really get to the heart of the matter. Now that the assumer has already ensured that you are, in fact, intelligent, she can proceed to more challenging positions. Tip off number two: nostalgic references to the tragedy of the stolen presidency, usually accompanied by “the sad eyes...

Author: By Vanessa J. Dube | Title: Hiding in the Conservative Closet | 11/8/2006 | See Source »

SONGBIRD WILLIE NELSON With seven original scattershot albums since 2003--including one of just reggae covers--Nelson formally entered the doodling phase of his career. A collaboration with fellow profligate Ryan Adams (a mere five albums in three years) would seem like the exact wrong move, but as a producer, Adams brings along his excellent backing band, the Cardinals, and a shrewd instinct for songs that keep Willie focused. The two originals and nine covers--including Gram Parsons' $1000 Wedding and Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah--are so good that Nelson resists the temptation to oversell them and returns...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: 5 Albums from Country's Classiest Acts | 11/5/2006 | See Source »

...lucky alums, presumably those who enjoy everything from “public service to private jets,” as 02138’s website says. Beyond that, press agent Diane G. Stefani wrote in an e-mail, “[The magazine] is too early in its launch phase for us to discuss subscription details.” Hypothetical subscribers will shell out $36 for six issues, one full year of 02138. To compare, magazines like Vanity Fair charge half as much for twice as many issues. For the hoi polloi without a Harvard degree, content is available...

Author: By Alwa A. Cooper, CRIMSON STAFF WRITER | Title: So Exclusive, You Can’t Even Buy It | 11/1/2006 | See Source »

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