Word: phil
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Dates: during 2000-2009
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...Phil, however, thought my mom was completely wrong. "I've been married coming up on 28 years now, and Robin and I never fight. I absolutely hate conflict and confrontation," he said. "The problem is, when you don't argue, you miss makeup sex. And that's absolutely the best sex in the whole world." Then I got kind of grossed out thinking about my mom. "Also, right before Valentine's Day or Christmas, a good fight can save you several hundred dollars," Dr. Phil continued. Good advice. You don't get to put "Dr." in front of your name...
...Phil also thought my mom was wrong about the way I express myself when I'm upset: I kind of mope and wait for people to notice instead of just telling them how I feel with words like "sharing," "intimacy," "relationship" and "makeup sex." Further refuting my mom, Dr. Phil said, "One of my favorite songs is by Ronan Keating. He says, 'You say the most when you say nothing at all.'" I wish Dr. Phil had been around to argue with my mom for me when...
Also, Dr. Phil said my avoidance of conflict was clearly not keeping me from expressing my needs and innermost thoughts. "I think your columns are amazingly intimate. You tell people what you are feeling and thinking and experiencing. It's high disclosure." He also said he was "a fan" and that I "have a really good sense of humor." That makes it Dr. Phil...
...doctor if I'm too narcissistic. "Seems to me it's working for you pretty well," he said. "Don't fix what ain't broke." Finally, I posed my major self-improvement dilemma to him. "I think maybe I watch too much porn," I said, to which Dr. Phil replied, "Is it making you tired?" If being unable to stay awake is the definition of a problem, then perhaps I am actually not watching enough...
...convert to therapy, not because I wound up with any insights, but because it encouraged more porn viewing, I thanked Dr. Phil. Then I called my mom to ask her how it felt to have lost, big time...