Word: phlegm
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...that I know whooping cough numbers are up, I'll have to linger over the list of symptoms in that part of the chart to try to project them on to my offspring. The baby + phlegm cocktail is one of the most brutal for mothers. Once stricken, infant nasal passages are so small that any mucus makes their breathing sound like Darth Vader in the final stages of emphysema. You keep wishing: "if it only it could be me who has the cold, instead of her." And before you know it, presto...
...three seconds. And then there's the hideous clash of wills between wanting to cuddle said sick child and not really wanting sick child's snot all over your only presentable blouse. There's a marketing opportunity here. What working mom will want to go through life without the Phlegm-Phighting Apron or SnotAway spray...
...former lover who has a secret of her own. The Gourmet Club, the short story of the book's title, is the hidden haven of a gourmand who concocts exotic dishes out of ingredients such as tree bark, bird droppings and human saliva for a menu that might feature "Phlegm-and-Spittle Liquid Jade" or "Velvet Carpeting Soup." Mr. Bluemound represents the epitome of extreme movie goddess worship: a smitten fan constructs a series of actual physical replicates of the star in various positions for his own erotic purposes. And in Manganese Dioxide Dreams the narrator pleasurably views...
...from a long list of unpleasant side effects. Or we can take the braver path: Toss aside those medications, confront our perpetually weepy eyes and snotty noses and figure out what?s actually causing our immune systems to flare up. Call it a national journey into the heart of phlegm. Or a declaration of independence. Whatever works...
...once sick the entire year. Somehow as a sophomore I dodged every sneeze-induced shotgun blast of tainted phlegm from every runny nose in every lecture hall. I was invincible. At the end of this glorious, deep-breathing year, being once again of sound mind and body, I half-heartedly tried to convince myself that these non-scientifically sanctioned herbs and spices were not responsible for my well-being. Echinacea’s correlation with inexplicable health by no means implied causation, right? Thus, when the big bottle of meanies ran out, I neglected to replace it?...