Word: photogate
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CLICK! POP! CHUNCK-UHN! Photography...It sounded so exciting. 'Reporter' also had a somewhat romantic ring to it--Woodward and Bernstein, Pentagon papers, Tom Wolfe, Americana. But 'photog' is even better. Like a reporter, you get a press pass complete with a photo, an official looking masthead, and the Crimson president's signature on it (even if the signature was forged by the managing editor, as mine is). You get to go to all the same newsworthy events and you don't even have to talk to anyone. Just chunck-ubn, chunck-ubn, chunck-ubn. When it's all over...
...that's not why the editors of FM asked me to reminisce about my years as a photog. They wanted me to feed the myth. They wanted tales of Glamour, Thrills,and Drama. I discovered that if I scraped together every tidbit of my photographic experiences, spiced them up with a few embellishments, then stole a few stories of photogs who have since graduated and put them down all in one story, I could make my Crimson career sound remotely interesting. So I did my best to deliver...
...likes what it sees too much. Quinn, the hero, is supposed to be a stressed-out investigative reporter; and since this is Los Angeles, he's got a bigfoot Jeep with a camo paint job (there's a plot, but first things first) and a drop-dead Japanese-American photog girlfriend who wears cowboy boots with little chains on them. The bad guys include an old- time movie cowboy with a political itch and an aging football hero who < likes to hurt people. Their meanness is actorish...
...help of authorities. Sufficiently sauced, Hogan nearly suffocated under the suit, but no one would pay attention to him until he hurled bananas at the crowd. Finally, a kid screamed, "Mommy, a blue-eyed gorilla!" and the crowd recognized that it was looking at no ordinary gorilla. The Enquirer photog went to work documenting the event...
Mike McDonough, a Lantana free-lancer, counters by recalling the night he watched an intrepid Brit scale the facade of a hotel in Freeport, the Bahamas, to bang on Howard Hughes' window. "That is the closest anyone ever came ((to Hughes))," he claims proudly. Ace Tab Photog Jimmy Leggett, a wiry Scot, remembers a "scheme to drill a hole down into Hughes' coffin to get a picture of his face." Another plot, in the '60s, involved renting a submarine to surprise Jackie Kennedy and little Caroline yachting in the Mediterranean. Leggett admits with a wink, "Neither plan made it past...