Word: phylum
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Dates: during 1990-1999
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...classification, roughly speaking, involves the careful grouping of a large set of individuals into categories defined by the properties each member of that category possesses. So, if we survey the Harvard landscape, what do we find? Let's start with the phylum Euro-Trash-icus, the members of which hold the humble belief that Europe is the center of the universe, and, here on earth, the pinnacle of civilization and culture. You can recognize members of the phylum Euro-trashicus by their refusal to recognize...
Because so many members of the phylum Final Clubicus are also members of the phylum Jockicus, the two can be difficult to discern. The important thing to remember here is that, while both try to drink beer as if it were water and both love sports as if they mattered, some members of the Final Clubicus are not actually of the phylum Jockicus...
These members of the phylum Final Clubicus descend from obscenely wealthy ancestors whose names are inscribed on all important buildings. They are the people who will bar me from getting a job at the top 100 corporations in America, for having written this piece. Their strength, like that of Jockici, originates in their tendency to move about in herds. Later in life, this habit of moving and thinking in herds translates into many powerful connections, that provide a kind of affirmative action for the over-privileged...
...other phylum of Harvard students who inevitably succeed, although through a little more seat, is the phylum Pre-med Geekicus. Members of this phylum can be identified in several ways...