Word: pitchforkness
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Dates: during 2000-2009
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...know those people who claim eclectic musical taste? These claims are mostly empty. Anyone who writes “eclectic” on thefacebook.com listens to and loves anything Pitchfork feeds them. Eclecticism’s most common manifestation in college is a playlist full of Pitchfork favorites with some token polka/showtunes/Bulgarian songs intended to impress or throw off any curious onlisteners...
...came upon Pitchfork around the tenth grade, and was, for a while, the sole user of said opinion-generator amongst my peers in Duluth, Minnesota. All I needed to do was grab three bands off the home page and download some of their songs in order for my “eclectic” musical taste to reach renown...
...Shins” molded me into a veritable musical übermensch, a power I abused to court “the ladies” and plug into the local college community. For that profound expansion of social capital, I am eternally indebted to Pitchfork...
...wasn’t until arriving here that Pitchfork’s hidden flaws reared their ugly heads. My sense of camaraderie in musical savvy quickly gave way to a startling realization: every one of these indie-philes I was meeting read Pitchfork daily, adapted it to their needs, and in doing so crafted a musical “personality” though a process as efficient as a Model T assembly line. Some read further than others, wading through the blandly melodic and arriving in the safe realm of the avant-garde (read: unlistenable...
...Okay, the way I see it, you’re making the typical hater criticism of Pitchfork, and really, the criticism that our dads probably made towards Golden-Age Rolling Stone and that their dads made of Prehistoric Big Band Monthly or whatever...