Word: plaids
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...Suddenly a truck he identified as a 3.5-ton Mitsubishi Canter sped into the access road leading to the barrier, only to be halted by a car exiting from the other direction. Suspicious, said Bwaku, of the truck's "terrible speed," he lowered the barrier. A man in a plaid shirt and baggy pants jumped out from the passenger side and marched toward him. "Open the gate," he demanded, and when Bwaku, armed only with a wooden club and walkie-talkie, hesitated, the man plunged both hands into his deep pockets and pulled out what Bwaku recognized as a grenade...
...plaid, felt shirt can warm him when...
This opera will go on for a couple decades, may I live so long (knock, knock). My old pals will be sending me postcards from the Aegean, Christmas letters about their grandkids and their prostates, snapshots of them at their condo overlooking the golf course at Plaid Pants Village, and I'll be standing in the back at Miss Lori's dance-class recital and watching my little girl, a swan in a herd of ducks, interpret the Waltz of the Flowers. My pals will become cranky geezers who can't tolerate loud voices, can't bear to be contradicted...
While I never want to get so out of style that I come back into style, I understand that I can only keep up with the Benjamins to a certain extent. In a few years striped clothing will become as passe as plaid clothing is now. Nevertheless, we must slowly begin to push our plaid to the back of the closet, earning our stripes slowly, so that we can prepare for the next shift in the winds of fashion...
Ultimately, we can't avoid facing up to fashion trends, no matter how hard we try. Soon enough we'll be entering the working world, and most of us will sport corporate fashions during most of our waking hours. Then we won't need to take refuge from the plaid or stripe; rather, we will begin to take refuge in them...