Word: plan
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...Eventually, an anonymous source in University Hall told us just what Our Queen Drew Faust was up to. Apparently, the University’s greatest expense is its enormous phone bill. In response Our Queen Drew Faust, as part of her overall plan to eliminate undergraduate happiness, will soon order all students to “donate” their cell phone minutes to the University and only use their University-issued red phones for the remainder of their college careers...
...Harvard’s plan to eliminate all fun also includes the following programs: cable TV, party grants, the Girl Talk fiasco, inviting Insane Clown Posse to YardFest 2009, appropriating Nazi gold, not admitting any hot girls, the Lamont Burrito Disaster of 2005, lethargic calendar reform, Vanserg, serving squash at 78.3 percent of meals, and the Core...
Thus far, a series of all-nighters by legislators, plus the governor's actions shutting down the state government piece by piece, have not shaken loose the one remaining GOP vote needed to pass the spending plan...
...leaving out the United Auto Workers. Delicate negotiations on things like retiree health benefits will be necessary as the car companies, unions and the government try to chart a course that will keep the American auto industry afloat. Enter Ron Bloom. President Obama has scrapped his initial plan for a "car czar", but Bloom - who has strong ties to private banking and labor - will reportedly serve in a high-profile advisory role on an automobile task force at the Department of the Treasury. (See the 50 worst cars of all time...
...slipping toward insolvency, Republican Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger and the Democratic legislative majority continue to search for one last Republican vote to pass a budget. But the complex negotiations hit a snag Wednesday when Republican state senators ousted their leader, Senator Dave Cogdill, who had dared to agree to a plan involving a tax hike, and replaced him with a staunch antitaxer. To avoid a collapse of state finances, legislators are attempting to pass a $42 billion budget-balancing plan that includes $14.4 billion in new taxes, an action anathema to the rank-and-file Republican minority. "I don't want...