Word: playboy
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...reasoned, imagine what other people will do. I dreamed of strong-arming mayors to give me keys to their cities, persuading a minor league team to let me throw out the first pitch and getting women to talk to me. Then it struck me: I needed to see the Playboy Mansion...
After I had lunch with some Playboy execs in the dining room, where the waiter was summoned by the push of a button on the table, Hef joined us. He was wearing the smoking jacket and silk pajamas. He looked extraordinarily young for 72, especially his wrinkle-free hands, which made me worry that he had struck some deal with the devil. Then I realized that if he had, he cut the best deal ever...
...beloved Viagra--I'm sure it's all related. "Now all I have to do is adopt a highway," he said. "I've adopted a couple of twins. That's more expensive." I had no idea what he meant. But joking about twins seemed like a cool, International Playboy kind of thing, so I laughed...
...gallery, that I found out what he meant. I had mistakenly thought, after seeing a de Kooning, a Dali and a Pollock in the greeting room, that the gallery would be a small museum. It turns out it's an endless hallway filled with pictures of Hef and his Playboy guests. Many of the recent shots were of young stars making the pilgrimage: Leo DiCaprio, Cameron Diaz, Jim Carrey, Courtney Love. But in most of the new pictures, Hef is flanked by a pair of twins, Mandy and Sandy Bentley, who, I was told, "are his girlfriend." I wondered...
...bathroom and slowly sits on the toilet. O'Hara and Martin turn their heads to each other, wearing the faces of horror at the realization that massive amounts of excrement are about to dumped on top of their car. The man on the toilet peruses the illuminating literature of Playboy magazine and suddenly the car explodes from to its original size, bursting the toilet open and catapulting the man across his lawn...