Word: pm
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Dates: during 2000-2009
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...PM: Subject checked e-mail. Nada...
...PM: Subject surfed "Torvald's ?Not Safe for Work' Anna Kournikova Shrine" (website domain confirmed as Mr. Torvald Nordstr?m's of Vigelandsbruk, Norway). After browsing through several JPEG galleries, subject lingered on photo of a sunbathing Ms. Kournikova for six minutes...
...PM: Subject checked e-mail. No new messages...
...PM: Subject Googled and followed hits for four women, three of whom are confirmed ex-girlfriends, and the last of whom he had a "massive unrequited crush on in high school," according to our dossier. Yes, we keep track of this sort of thing...
...PM: Subject updated MySpace profile's "Interests: Music" section to reflect his appreciation for former Pavement frontman and possible Taliban-sympathizer Stephen Malkmus (consider lyrics from 2000's "Pink India": "Tension grows in Afghanistan / Carbine bullets could settle the score." The Agency is currently investigating whether Mr. Malkmus's "indie slacker" image is a front for a systematic covert op.). Subject also visited Mr. Peterson's profile and left vengeful comment regarding his need for a more photogenic main picture...