Word: pm
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...PM: Subject closed 17 pop-up ads originating from Mr. Nordstr?m's website. Rapidity of closure suggests sense of shame and self-loathing...
...PM: Subject checked e-mail and received one new message, from "Polonius J. Frootier" with subject line "INSTINTLY GAIN 3-5 MORE INCHES!!!!" Subject deleted message. The FBI tells us they are unable to locate any information on Mr. Frootier...
...PM: Subject checked e-mail. Nada...
...PM: Subject surfed "Torvald's ?Not Safe for Work' Anna Kournikova Shrine" (website domain confirmed as Mr. Torvald Nordstr?m's of Vigelandsbruk, Norway). After browsing through several JPEG galleries, subject lingered on photo of a sunbathing Ms. Kournikova for six minutes...
...PM: Subject updated MySpace profile's "Interests: Music" section to reflect his appreciation for former Pavement frontman and possible Taliban-sympathizer Stephen Malkmus (consider lyrics from 2000's "Pink India": "Tension grows in Afghanistan / Carbine bullets could settle the score." The Agency is currently investigating whether Mr. Malkmus's "indie slacker" image is a front for a systematic covert op.). Subject also visited Mr. Peterson's profile and left vengeful comment regarding his need for a more photogenic main picture...