Word: poons
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Dates: during 1940-1949
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Starting at 4 o'clock in the Oval Room, the contest will go through as originally planned, with but one change in the program: in all probability the 'Poon will only send five girls against the Rose chorus-line...
...engineer in charge of the Poon's annual publicity drive could not be reached for comment last night, and the number, names, and measurements of any of the entrants could not be ascertained. Rumors seeping out between the tiles of the decaying 'Poon building, however, have it that a well-rounded 55 girls will be there tonight...
Most of the history of the "feud" with the Ibisters, the Birdmen, (occasionally called the Funnymen), more vulgarly referred to as Lampoon editors, has passed on with the times, or else was pure imagination to start with. Year after year, a perusal of springtime Crimsons reveals, the Poon was mortgaged or sold or taken over by their trustees or by the Crimson. For no less than 24 years, the 'Poon has been unable to vary their losing score in the annual baseball game from the inevitable...
Spike also invented an "anvilphone," a "crashophone" (to break glass), a "poon-tangophone" (a cigar box and a lathe) and a "latrinophone" (a toilet seat strung with catgut, which went over big on a European U.S.O. tour). To record his Hotchi Cornia, Spike rented a goat that "naa-a-a-ed" when he twisted its tail. In Little Bo Peep Has Lost Her Jeep, the Slickers ripped apart an old auto. When these musical effects proved inadequate to Spike's demands, the band members crunched English walnuts in their teeth, ripped mustard plasters off each other's chests...
...advised by 'Poon officialdom that an unwary Radcliffe girl once sent in a subscription check without the usual coercion of the circulation department. The incident proved such a shock that the staff, instead of the check, bounced into paralysis. After two frustrating years of silence from the boys, bloody but unbowed she sent another two bucks to Lampy's lottery...