Word: poons
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...turn simply to the closing sentence of the three-page eulogistic history of the 'Poon prepared for this issue by Mike Arlen and Lew Gifford. "Whatever the case however, it has always printed what it wanted to, and, as far as we are concerned, that is about all one could ask for." If "one" is a present or past editor of the Lampoon (and judging by this issue there is a little need to separate the two) then this is a valid generalization. But for the majority of us, Lampy is too concerned with patting his own dogma to worry...
...ascent, which was described as one to prove that "man can fly," was scheduled to take place at 1:15 p.m., in celebration of the 'Poon's 75th anniversary. At about 1 p.m. Lampoon men, attired in top hats and Chesterfield coast, gathered in front of "that bastard chateau" with a brass band and began the ceremony...
Despite the general quiet during the ceremony, several spectators threw bags of water, rotten tomatoes, and skinned haddock. At least one member of the Cambridge press was manhandled by the 'Poon's uniformed guards, who occasionally relaxed their official demeanor to fling a haddock or two back at the crowd...
...ascension, it was alleged, would employ a Navy "skyhook" balloon filled with 40 dollars worth of helium, with 'Poon Ibis Charles C. Osborne '52 scheduled to be borne aloft...
Skyhook balloons normally reach a height of more than 50 miles, but 'Poonsters last night were apparently unruffled at the prospect of Osborne's elevation. It was reported by one source within the 'Poon that Osborne would be dropped at the last moment and a dummy substituted. Osborne is a noted short-distance swimmer...