Word: poons
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When and if La Sheridan came to Cambridge, the Warner crew hoped to effect a public reconciliation between Ann and the Poon by having Lampoon editors and the oomph girl pose for the press in intimate and forgiving attitudes...
...Miss Sheridan is coy. Apparently she loves only the Lampoon. For she is content to sit out on the West Coast, surrounded by still cameras, and beckon to the Poon boys to come out and learn some oomph. This is rank injustice to the rest of the college. Since apparently only she holds the key to money-making success, since most Harvard alumni are reputedly oomphless share croppers and Fuller-brush men, Miss Sheridan is needed at college to raise a new generation of oomphy grads...
Then, too, since Poon men are grinds of the first water, probably none of them could tear themselves out of the bowels of Widener long enough to whip out to the West and the arms of La Sheridan. Hence on her shapely shoulders rests the responsibility of showing the shining light of success to the benighted dramatic critic of the Poon in particular and the student body in general...
What this college needs is Ann Sheridan, visiting lecturer on oomph, in person, to melt the snow on the sidewalks, to roam through the stacks of Widener calling to the lost souls of Poon men, to burn up the boards of the New Lecture Hall...
Lampy for once stopped into some unpremeditated national publicity yesterday when Ann Sheridan, "Oomph Girl" whom the Poon recently dubbed "least likely to succeed" in the movies blasted Harvard men in general and Lampoon editors in particular...