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...Malliaris' and Hendry's climb to the forefront of the field of mulletology had humble beginnings. The website www.mulletsgalore.com provided a crash course on the topic, enabling the inquisitive readers to absorb the fundamentals of mullet vocabulary, mullet classification and porn mullets (for the mature breed of mullet enthusiast). Soon thereafter, a friend bestowed upon Malliaris a book entitled The Mullet: Hairstyle of the Gods, which tackled advanced areas of mulletology such as the aerodynamics of the mullet and the emergence of mythical superhero Mulletman...
Although having sex in the stacks of Widener has become legendary amongst students, for those who don't get any, scouring the stacks in search of porn is the chosen alternative. Rumor has it that many get their kicks in "The X-Cage," a hush-hush collection of pornographic picturebooks tucked away in Widener's farthest reaches...
...Kinky S&M parlors, dark dungeons of pictorial pleasure - anything can pique the interest of a sex-deprived scholar. But to really dig for the dirt first-hand, here's what to expect in your crusade for porn...
...know if there's a porn section in the stacks? I'm writing an article for The Salient...I mean, uhhhh...
...keyword search will yield disappointing results, primarily about religious establishments combating pornography. Yawn. Sweatshirt Boy heroically tries new searches with "sex" and "eroticism". No porn here. Sigh...