Word: porn
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...that mixed little girl with Warren Buffett in a way I still can't shake. "I'm really into the stock market. You're going to make a lot of money, dude." I thought I could make a lot of money by recording this and setting up a 900-PORN-IPO number...
...always wanted porn-star friends. I figured they'd know not only where all the good parties were but also where to buy fetching outfits for my female friends. But it turns out they know about something far more exciting than sex: money. Orgies are great and all, but they're a little early '99, a little Eyes Wide Shut, if you know what I mean. If I find a woman who can point me toward the next AOL, then I'm a man in search of a diamond ring...
Last week porn star Marylin Star was charged with soliciting insider trading secrets from her "friend" James McDermott, the now former chairman of Keefe, Bruyette & Woods, an investment bank. She made $88,000 investing in companies his firm was about to help merge, and tipped off a buddy, who scored $86,000. I had been missing out on this stock-market craze for too long, and I needed to do something about it. Since no venture capitalists seemed as if they were going to invest in my Jeff Foxworthy tribute site idea, I figured I needed a new plan...
...what if I wasn't really hanging out with porn stars and I didn't have any money in the NASDAQ. It was a rush just to feel as if I was part of it. And I can't wait to tell my grandkids where their EDIG fortune came from...
...latter comes the Freedom system, the most comprehensive software package ever to limit the traceability of Internet usage. Produced by Montreal tech firm Zero-Knowledge Systems, the software has been long awaited by privacy advocates, and long dreaded by groups battling cyber-evils such as web-based child-porn rings. How it works: Surfers who purchase the $50 software are given five digital aliases. While web sites can normally trace a user's travel on the Net directly to a specific PC, with the aliases, your travel is linked to nothing but a number, and Zero-Knowledge keeps no records...