Word: ported
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...doesn't play Bratton in the movie but a Bratton-like figure named Thurman. This is presumably because, were he playing Bratton, he would never have told his superiors that he felt Pearl was in gravest peril. Bratton did think that "the Japanese were showing unusual interest in the port," but he also thought they would not, finally, "go out of [their] way deliberately to attack an American installation...
...early in life, Amélie decides to outwit fate by manipulating events to fulfill the hopes and desires of others. Populating that plot is an array of stock characters from classic French cinema, updated with comically magnified conditions, obsessions and idiosyncrasies. Amélie's jilted concierge tipples port in the presence of a pet dog preserved by taxidermy. The wise, grandfatherly neighbor from whom Amélie seeks guidance is a misanthropic crank. Even Amélie's beloved goldfish is suicidal...
...chef Emeril Lagasse as, yes, a cable-star chef. Now, it's patently unfair to pass judgment on a new series after a couple minutes of selected clips. Having said that, if the full pilot of "Emeril" proves to be funny, I will eat my own foot in a port-wine reduction sauce. Forget Lagasse's apparent stiffness delivering lines in the few scenes we saw. Forget his almost pitiable, parody-of-himself speech to the advertiser crowd, which basically consisted solely of his catchphrases - "Bam!" "Kick it up a notch!" and "Happy happy!" All you need to know about...
Otherwise, the new iBook is golden. Its standard 500 MHz chip is speedy enough for all consumer needs, and the FireWire port means you can even download and edit your digital home movies away from home. Jobs is pushing this as the best portable choice for education, but it looks suspiciously like the laptop for the rest...
...levers at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, but he's got your PC figured out. The animatronic Homer from Playmates Toys ($50) responds to whatever you're doing with the appropriate bons mots: "D'oh!" for spelling errors, "Whoo-hoo!" for new e-mail. He plugs into the USB port, and you can quiet him down if necessary--handy when Mr. Burns is lurking down the hall...