Word: portfolios
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Dates: during 2000-2009
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...Lara who goes on to tear-drenched smiles as she receives her bouquet and tiara, thousands of other hopefuls end up humiliated and exploited. More and more young men and women are signing up with costly, dubious Indian modeling institutes, where a two-week session and a photo portfolio can run up to $1,000. The desire to break through to the beauty elite can force women into unsavory situations. Anorexia and steroid abuse are increasing. There are many stories of fixed contests, nepotism and the casting couch. "Most of our people are out-of-towners," says Atul Kelkar...
...Vanguard has promised an array of competing ETFs, to be called Vipers; and Merrill Lynch has entered the tradable-funds sweepstakes with HOLDRs (Holders). Again, you pay a sales commission, but the management fee is minimal, and waived altogether if not covered by dividends paid by companies in the portfolio. The basic HOLDR consists of 20 stocks targeting, say, the Internet, biotech or banking industry...
WRITE AID Until now the worlds of paper and silicon have been irreconcilably separate. No longer, thanks to a clever doodad from Seiko called the SmartPad ($199). The SmartPad looks like a shmancy executive portfolio, with a seemingly ordinary pad of paper on one side and a port for your Palm PDA on the other. Whatever you write on the pad instantly appears on the screen of your Palm. You can even save your scribblings as an image and e-mail it. For bad handwriting, however, there's still no cure...
...have money automatically transferred to a mutual fund from my checking account each month (which sounds easy but is actually the result of a stunningly complicated process) and I have no idea how to stop them from taking the money, it looks like I've got myself a portfolio of sorts. And that means that ever since New Year's I've had to purchase several new bottles of antacid, which I clutch faithfully every morning as the market opens. It all looked so rosy back in '98, and now it's like a terrible and extremely expensive roller coaster...
...recap. Last year, everything was just fine. I was happy as I used my Nokia to order gourmet potato chips that I could afford because of my burgeoning portfolio. Now I'm staring down financial ruin, impending brain damage and an eerily complementary brain tumor. What a wonderful new century - I'm certainly glad I won't be around for the next...