Word: postalized
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...POST Refusing to be bested by online bill-paying sites, the U.S. Postal Service has rolled out its own eBillPay at its website USPS.com Sign up, and the first six months are free. You'll be able to receive and pay bills electronically. If any biller won't accept electronic payments, the Postal Service will send a paper check for you. So save your stamps for real letters...
...Palestinians have never done: driving Israeli soldiers off Arab land by force. Hizballah leaders can barely contain their eagerness for the day when their fighters, crying "God is great!," will march into the buffer strip along the southern Lebanese border that Israel calls the Security Zone. The Lebanese postal service is issuing stamps in honor of the jihad. And though still on the State Department's list of terrorist groups, accused in the suicide bombings of U.S. diplomats and military forces in Beirut and the kidnapping of Westerners in Lebanon, Hizballah is reinventing itself as an increasingly respectable Lebanese political...
...doesn't take a psychic to predict that the indignity of toting that many liquid test results will finally push disgruntled postal workers past the edge. When they pool their ammo and prepare to strike back against their oppressors, the President will look up from his intern and call out the National Guard...
...only problem is that the 800,000 angry employees of the United States Postal Service (USPS) just about double the number of supposed saviors in the National Guard. In fact, with a huge fleet of cars, trucks and planes, massive warehouses and even-more-massive cash supplies, as well as daily access to every home in the country, neither snow nor rain nor heat nor Rambo is going to stay these couriers from wiping the floor with the rest...
Game over. We lose. Roughly following the precedent of Portugal and Spain's Treaty of Tordesillas in 1494, China and the Postal Service will partition their conquered territory with an imaginary line through Omaha, Nebraska. The People's Republic will claim everything east of the line and the Postmaster General everything to the west...