Word: postman
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Truth to be told, the "semen sequence" is one of the most entertaining parts of The Postman, Costner's latest overblown, over-long epic adventure. In answer to your immediate questions: no, it's not a great film; yes, the premise is hokey; yes, it's too long; and yes, it's a blatant display of self-aggrandizement and megalomania on the part of actor-director-producer Costner. But is it as bad as everyone thought it would be? As was true of Waterworld...
Speaking realistically, though, the leap from familiar suburban mailcarrier to action hero is a lot to ask of the moviegoing public. And Costner is not the actor to ask it. His Postman is supposed to be a traveling actor (the first of many ironies) who uses his charm and chutzpah to snowball the entire American West into believing that a new government has been created (in Minneapolis, of all places) and that postal routes are being reestablished all over the country. Costner, however, is so devoid of charisma and conviction that you wonder why anyone would believe...
...supporting roles fare better. Williams's Abby, though mainly an ornament, is one tough, no-nonsense woman. She's pragmatic ("As far as you know, you have good semen? I'm only asking because I want you to get me pregnant."), resourceful (she nurses the wounded Postman through a bitter winter with nothing but leaves, water and a couple of bowls of horse soup), and a much better fighter than the Postman (she's deadly accurate with an AR-15). To the story's detriment, her character fades into obscurity in the film's latter half. Larenz Tate does...
...Postman is a Western fairy tale, so the enemy is, predictably enough, a white supremacist militia. Known as the Holnist Army, this mounted horde is meant to recall an army of Huns, but comes off looking like a collection of highly regimented hoboes (all of that matted facial hair, along with an uninspired dress code, doesn't help matters). The Holnists are led by one General Bethlehem (Will Patton), a ruthless former copy machine sales clerk who found his true calling in fascist leadership after nuclear war vaporized society. Because he knows five or six lines of Shakespeare...
...ineptitude, The Postman has heart. It's unabashedly patriotic, and if all of those beautiful, panoramic shots of Utah and the Pacific Northwest can't make you proud of this country, then nothing can. So if you can suspend your cynicism for a moment, there is something strangely rousing about watching the mail go through...hey, that's not what I meant...