Word: pretenders
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THIS BUSINESS OF DERIVATIVES CAN BE TRACED BACK TO CHIcago, the old hog butcher for the world and stacker of wheat. Chicago learned it could make an easier living by selling pretend wheat and pretend hogs in the pits of the commodities exchanges. These imaginary creatures are called "futures." The point was you could buy a hog future and turn a nice profit before the real hog ever showed up. Or, if you were Hillary Rodham Clinton, you could make 100 times your money on cattle futures without ever having to put up with...
Having taken the bother out of farming and changed it into high finance, Chicago then turned its attention to high finance itself, introducing futures and options so that investors could buy and sell pretend baskets of stocks. These baskets were a big hit among professional fund managers, who used the pretend stocks to hedge their positions whenever they were afraid they owned too many real stocks...
There is a rumor that the members of this theatrical company must actually be elected to their positions-no doubt a witty critique of bourgeois social conventions. The actors sometimes even pretend to be "representatives" of the human struggle against the meaninglessness of life. The audience cannot help but appreciate such divine commentary on the absurdity of the human condition...
Fortunately, being the aspiring young spies that we are, we know the pat catch phrases to repeat if you are, indeed, in the CIA, or at least want to pretend you are. We share them with you here as a token of our faith...
Watching one of his society films like "The Awful Truth" or "Topper" lets me pretend that Chivalry isn't dead, even though i have to forget that the movie is more than 50 years old and its social commentary is obsolete...