Word: pretenders
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...pretend dormcest never happened. That HoCo chair you fucked two weeks into your three-year residence? Never have to see them again. Related, my next point...
...just pretend my dog does all that. Which, as weird as that is, still doesn't make me as weird as people who actually do it, such as those who features their pets on the websites Hipster Puppies and Hipster Kitty. Both combine two of the Internet's favorite things: cute animals and making fun of hipsters. If they could somehow incorporate people falling down, they might be the most popular sites on the Web. (Watch TIME's video about Ben Huh, creator of the websites LOLcats and Fail Blog...
...believe it or not, this is his first election," Obama told a buoyant crowd. "He's a heck of a public servant, but he's new to politics, so he hasn't learned the best way to keep your poll numbers up is just to smile and wave and pretend like you're doing something and not really doing anything that might offend anybody; he hasn't perfected the seven-second sound bite. He's never even made a TV ad." (See "How to Tame the Budget Deficit...
...long, rambling rant posted on a website eerily reflected the angry populist sentiments that have swept the country in the past year. In it, a Joe Stack inveighed against intrusive Big Brother government, corrupt corporate giants, irrational taxes, as well as the "puppet" George Bush. "I choose not to pretend that business as usual won't continue," he wrote. "I have just had enough. I can only hope that the numbers quickly get too big to be white washed and ignored that the American zombies wake up and revolt." And then Stack apparently got in a Piper Cherokee...
...know that by not adding my body to the count, I insure nothing will change. I choose to not keep looking over my shoulder at big brother while he strips my carcass, I choose not to ignore what is going on all around me, I choose not to pretend that business as usual won't continue; I have just had enough." He signed off, "Joe Stack...