Word: psychiatrists
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SOMETHING IS WRONG in Lake Forest, Ill. A kid dies in a boating accident. His brother, Conrad, who was there when it happened, tries to kill himself. Later, he has nightmares, so he goes to see a psychiatrist. His father doesn't have nightmares, but he goes to see the psychiatrist too. Conrad's old girlfriend kills herself. Conrad gets better; his mother leaves his father. Pretty soon, we get the point--everyone here is getting divorced and seeing a psychiatrist and killing himself...
...above are, conceivably, virtues that anybody might contribute to public office, but psychiatrists have several others peculiarly their own. As a group they are almost uniformly liberal and antiwar, and they admire the United Nations, which is certainly unusual. They also have very soft voices, which seem to arise inside of you rather than from them. When one talks with a psychiatrist, therefore, one has the impression of talking with oneself, which can be an alarming symptom for which one might seek help...
Then, too, a psychiatrist is convinced that nothing is as it appears. This puts reality up for grabs, and the grabs are his, since he is an interpreter. If he is the only one who knows what reality is, then he must also be the only one who knows what it ought to be. In short, he has the world on a string-every politician's dream...
Which brings us to a lovely advantage: psychiatrists believe in dreams. Consider all the romantic petitioners who heretofore were told that their fantasies were bushwa now being smiled at and implored to spell out in exquisite detail what it is they have been dreaming of. Who knows but that among them one truly remarkable, earth-rescuing dream may arise that is worth dissecting? Who but a psychiatrist Governor (at least a Freudian Governor) is authorized to say that dreams count for something in the world, that truth may reside in improbables...
...greatest gift psychiatrists could bring to government is the capacity to forgive. Until recently, only Barbara Walters had that power, but now with psychiatrists at the helm, all sins become venial. One would expect a psychiatrist Governor to exercise his right of pardoning condemned prisoners, of course, and that would be most pleasing to opponents of capital punishment. Only one area of danger exists, and that is in the traditional circumstance of a Governor's phoning the prison at the last minute to cancel the execution...