Word: psychologist
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Dates: during 2000-2009
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They each married. After nearly three decades, Cornelius was divorced about the same time Washington was widowed. Cornelius, a psychologist living in Minneapolis, was thinking of moving back East. She called several old friends, including Washington, a lawyer, still in Pittsburgh. "I thought," he recalls, "if I ever get to Minneapolis, I'll get in touch." A law meeting brought him there in 1990, and sparks flew. Each was amazed at how unchanged the other seemed. He told her, "You know, I have always loved you." She was hooked. They visited each other on weekends. The distance no longer seemed...
...likely are such reconnections to succeed? Psychologist Nancy Kalish, author of Lost & Found Lovers, says her research suggests that the odds are good. Of 1,000 couples who got together again after a separation of five years or more, 72% were still together, one for 50 years. Kalish acknowledges that hers is a self-selected sample but points out that she has made public her own failed attempt to rekindle an old love and often hears about failures on her website, lostlovers.com...
What such research doesn't reveal, notes Robert Billingham, an Indiana University psychologist, is how many people try to reconnect and are rebuffed. Also, he adds, "those who think, 'Well, you've got bald and bloated,' tend not to write in." Not all reunion stories have a happy ending. The very thing that can make a match--the feeling that you already know each other--can be a snare, as Lisa Liken, 42, a Southern California drama teacher, found when she was e-mailed by a high school boyfriend living abroad. On a month-long trip home, he began living...
Still, late-life reunions can make for good relationships. Shared history and values grow more compelling as people age. Says Laura Carstensen, a Stanford University psychologist who studies emotional development in adulthood: research shows that "relationships benefit from knowledge of a person earlier in life." As people retire from careers, external signs of identity, like an office or affiliation, disappear. So it's valuable to know someone from your past "who knew...
...Emily. We talk. Gosh, we talk." Paradoxically, late marriages can be better because the spouses are at once more mature and, in a sense, teenagers again. "All the research shows raising children eats into the quality of the marital relationship," says Keith Davis, a University of South Carolina psychologist. "With a new partner, it's just the two of you, and everything else be damned...