Word: queenly
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...Canada's Governor-General, Michaëlle Jean, broke with protocol by buttonholing Obama at the airport for a private meeting that lasted 30 minutes. An immigrant from the impoverished Caribbean nation of Haiti, the former journalist and broadcaster is Canada's symbolic head of state, representing Queen Elizabeth...
Suddenly everything's on sale--even silver linings. The upside to the downturn is the immense incentive it gives retailers to treat you like a queen for a day. During the flush times, salespeople were surly, waiters snobby, as though their kanpachi tartare with wasabi tobiko might be too good for the likes of you. But now the customer rules, just for showing up. There's more room to stretch out on the flight, even in coach. The malls have that serene aura of undisturbed wilderness, with scarcely a shopper in sight. Every conversation with anyone selling anything...
...burden of premarital abstinence has largely rested on the bride. Prepubescent marriages and gruesome practices like genital mutilation and the imposition of chastity belts have long been used in the name of guarding a girl's "purity." Tales of famous (and famously celibate) females like Joan of Arc, Queen Elizabeth I and Florence Nightingale, to name a few, have helped uphold this chaste ideal, while medical literature from as late as the 19th century advised men to preserve their semen to boost vitality--a notion that dates back to Hippocrates and continues to this day among superstitious athletes. In recent...
...Eventually, an anonymous source in University Hall told us just what Our Queen Drew Faust was up to. Apparently, the University’s greatest expense is its enormous phone bill. In response Our Queen Drew Faust, as part of her overall plan to eliminate undergraduate happiness, will soon order all students to “donate” their cell phone minutes to the University and only use their University-issued red phones for the remainder of their college careers...
...also in every faculty member’s contract that they receive a minimum of three congratulatory phone calls from Our Queen Drew Faust. “Hey Prof. Michael Herzfeld. I love what you’re doing on ‘social poetics.’ You’ve made it to Harvard. You can do anything!” “Hey Prof. Sarah Jansen! I love what you’re doing on dogs and how we know them! You’re improving humanity with every paw you ask for! You?...