Word: racquetment
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...years ago, after my wife and I bought tennis racquets with heads the size of garbage-can lids, we became (arguably) the world's best Bad Doubles players. The oversize racquet head was only one of many weapons in our quiver. We are also the kind of Bad Doubles players who are not above yelling "Misssssssss-it!" when someone on the far side of the net is serving. Plus we tend to do a little "chicken" victory dance after winning any point, to a loudly hummed rendition of Do the Hustle. Still, I'd have to say it was technology...
...more than simple competitive spirit that caused me to ridicule the new tennis racquets our friends wielded when they took to the court against us. "Hammer system?" I snickered, inspecting Goldberg's Wilson racquet as if it were poultry. "What is this '6.2' nonsense?" I said, mistaking the racquet's flexibility rating for a version number. "Do you get free software updates?" Needless to say, the Goldbergs proceeded to beat us like cheap rugs. New technology--combined with an unseemly willingness on their part to run for the ball--left us in the dust. Team Quittner needed an upgrade...
...many racquets to choose from! Wilson sells not only Hammers but also SledgeHammers. And what of the Head and the Prince? In the years since we bought our racquets, tennis gear has evolved as human beings will over the millenniums: heads are larger, necks longer and body weight is lighter. Meanwhile high- tech jargon is used to justify racquet prices, which have zoomed to the $175-$300 range. I sought guidance from Howard Brody, a professor at the University of Pennsylvania and an expert in tennis physics...
...Harvard (11-1, 6-0 Ivy) that had not occurred since 1992--it lost a match. The Crimson saw its 89-match winning streak, the longest in the nation, come to an end at the hands of the Trinity Bantams, 6-3. So Harvard entered the National Intercollegiate Squash Racquet's Association (NISRA) Team Championship as the No. 2 seed with a two-fold goal--keep its dynasty alive and avenge its loss to Trinity...
...rest of Harvard's season saw the Crimson exhibit the same dominant level of play it has shown throughout the decade. Harvard kicked off the year with 9-0 shutout victories over Ivy League rivals Cornell and Brown before taking first place at the United States Squash Racquet's Association (USSRA) Team Championships...