Word: ralph
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Dates: during 1980-1989
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...Ralph: Look at the advantages, dearest. Because of this brilliant legal breakthrough, faulty dog-poop removal may be proper grounds for divorce...
Wanda: Not really, Ralph. Only the financial provisions seem to be enforceable. Barnett drew up a clause for a man who wanted his wife to remain slim, so the marriage contract said she would pay a fine if she gained weight, refundable upon weight loss. It's probably legally binding. Weitzman wants to see "liquidated damages." If the hubby is supposed to fix the plumbing and doesn't, he would have to pay the value of that service as a fine...
...Ralph: It might be easier to remain single and just hire the help, beloved wife. For one thing, your plumber can't fine you if you develop crow's-feet or receding gums. Unless, of course, his work contract has a life-style clause prepared by Barnett...
...dumb as you think, my naysaying husband. People have higher expectations of marriage than they used to, and the attempt to list some of these expectations is all to the good. It wouldn't be such a bad idea for us to work out a contract, Ralph...
...Ralph: Trippingly told, my sweet. O.K., in the absence of a pettiness adviser, let's hammer out our own contract...