Word: rectal
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...Chinese scientists have spent millions of dollars and gone to extraordinary (some might say absurd) lengths to perfect a captive breeding program for the notoriously shy, sex-averse animals. After several decades of frustration, 2006 was a banner year. Using methods ranging from Panda porn movies to electric rectal probes and Viagra (yes, Viagra; and no, it didn't work), captive panda moms produced 34 cubs. That compares to only 9 in 2000 and zero in many years before that. No doubt the program was initially spurred by a desire to protect the giant panda from impending extinction. Following...
...hiccups using latex gloves and K-Y jelly has proven Nobel-worthy. At the “16th First Annual Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony,” Francis M. Fesmire ’81 won for his medical case report, “Termination of Intractable Hiccups with Digital Rectal Massage.” Over 1,200 people gathered in Sanders Theater as genuine Nobel Laureates, Ig Nobel recipients, and other “ignitaries” participated in this year’s ceremony honoring achievements that “make people laugh, and then make them think...
...references to movies three to five times as old as its kid audience: Born Free, naturally, and Chariots of Fire and Planet of the Apes ("Darn you! Darn you all to heck!"). For the kids there are lots of funny spit takes and an abounding love for all things rectal. (To define the top two CGI studios by their favorite bodily functions, Pixar is farts, and DreamWorks is poop.) Add an outrageously adorable baby lemur and a penguin applying suntan lotion, and you've got savvy family entertainment...
...elected for the medically validated prophylactic alternative: buttsex. However, dismissing pharmacists’ warnings in the heat of the moment, they decided to decongest her anal cavity with the most readily available viscous fluid in the room: DayQuil (non-drowsy). Slope’s subsequent allergic reaction and rectal hemorrhage, deposited timeless proof of the law of unintended consequences all over the bed—which, fortunately for Slope, belonged not to her but her roommate, who returned later that night and, after careful consideration, elected to sleep on the futon...
...Herbert Benson, a professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School, afraid of looking too flaky, waited until late at night to sneak 36 transcendental meditators into his lab to measure their heart rate, blood pressure, skin temperature and rectal temperature. He found that when they meditated, they used 17% less oxygen, lowered their heart rates by three beats a minute and increased their theta brain waves--the ones that appear right before sleep--without slipping into the brain-wave pattern of actual sleep. In his 1970s best seller, The Relaxation Response, Benson, who founded the Mind/Body Medical Institute, argued that...