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...couples would choose to marry during periods of severe relationship stress, but then, trials come unexpectedly - you can't plan for layoffs, illness or a raging wildfire that forces a change in wedding venue 24 hours before the big event. That bad start, however, can have benefits. While an abundance of research shows that stressful life events often amplify a couple's problems - turning a husband's short temper into abuse, for example - and increase the likelihood of divorce, studies also show that hardship can have an upside. For some couples, it's protective, helping solidify their commitment into...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: In Marriage, Worse First Can Mean Better Later | 8/8/2009 | See Source »

Surviving the gauntlet of misfortune early in a relationship can be a valuable litmus test, say counselors. A relationship crisis "smashes the illusion of invulnerability," says William Doherty, a psychologist and marriage researcher who runs the Marriage and Family Therapy Program at the University of Minnesota. That illusion, he says, "was going to go away anyway, and I don't think there's any great loss to it going away sooner than later...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: In Marriage, Worse First Can Mean Better Later | 8/8/2009 | See Source »

...what about all those unlucky couples whose early years are marked by nothing but peace and happiness - what is their litmus test? There are two key predictors of a resilient relationship, experts say: mutual support and a willingness to sacrifice. In a recent study of newlyweds who became first-time parents, Gottman found that two-thirds suffered sharp drops in happiness during their child's infancy, under the strain of new parenthood. But for one-third of couples, the experience was cohesive and increased intimacy. Gottman says he could predict which couples would blossom under stress: those in whom, years...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: In Marriage, Worse First Can Mean Better Later | 8/8/2009 | See Source »

...produce excessive amounts of the stress hormone cortisol tend to have bulky waistlines; they have apple-shaped bodies, rather than pear-shaped ones. So the researchers wanted to examine all these factors - stress, abdominal fat and health risk - in one study. The problem, of course, is that measuring the relationship between stress and visceral fat in people in a controlled fashion isn't easy. So the team turned to monkeys. For nearly 2½ years, she and her team fed the animals a typical Western diet, with 40% of calories coming from fat, measured their cortisol levels and used...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: Fat-Bellied Monkeys Suggest Why Stress Sucks | 8/8/2009 | See Source »

...cities. Following that date, suspects detained by U.S. soldiers were freed by Iraqis. And the Iraqi government openly disdained the recent offer by Vice President Joe Biden during a visit to Baghdad to help mediate in its conflicts with Kurds and Sunnis. Top military adviser Reese likened the relationship between Iraqi and U.S. soldiers to a "father teaching his kid to ride a bike without training wheels," explaining, "Our hand on the back of the [Iraqis'] seat is holding them back and causing resentment. We need to let go before we both tumble to the ground...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: The Case for Leaving Iraq — Now | 8/8/2009 | See Source »

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