Word: reportings
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Here's a scene to frighten the horses. About an hour into Observe and Report, mall cop Ronnie Barnhardt (Seth Rogen) has finally achieved his dream and taken the blonde, egotistical, doltish perfume saleslady Brandi (Anna Faris) to bed, basically by getting her drunk. Problem is, she's pretty much passed out, her puke staining the pillow, as Ronnie happily, obliviously churns away. He pauses for a moment to notice her comatose state, and without opening her eyes, Brandi mutters, "Why'd you stop, malefactor?" Or a 12-letter word to that effect...
...That minute or so is the finest thing in Observe and Report, and if it doesn't strike you as funny-peculiar, you may as well stop reading now. Most of the rest of the movie is standard-issue comedy rowdiness, with one twist: the hero is borderline bananas. Ronnie, chief security guard at the Forest Ridge Mall, takes his job waaay too seriously. He bullies his staff like the drill sergeant in Full Metal Jacket. He thinks his men should be armed with assault rifles, not just Mace and Tasers. He patrols the mall as if it's Baghdad...
...That neat dichotomy - the tramp who turns Ronnie's head, the darling who's available to win his heart - should cue you that Observe and Report isn't going to have the courage to follow the premise to its logical conclusion. As ballsy as the movie is, it has one undescended testicle. It's bound to turn this disturbed cur into an underdog, and then a top dog. The bitter aftertaste that was permitted, in fact encouraged, in '70s movies is virtually verboten today. A feel-good ending is mandatory, even in a comedy like this, which promises...
...salutary rudeness and its flashes of male nudity that few will find erotic, Observe and Report eventually chickens out. The apparently unbreakable rule of modern comedy is that audiences not only have to laugh while they're watching it, they must also leave with a smile, a glow that tells them all's right with the world, until they get back into the world. You can't have the cleansing anarchy and bile of classical comedy; that might sow sullen word of mouth and reduce the box-office revenue by a few dollars...
...There ought to be room, especially in a time of recession and cynicism, for a form of humor that doesn't assuage but assaults. If we can get it on The Daily Show, which truly does observe and report, we ought to see it once in a while on the big screen. Comedies of the '70s turned the trick, but the people running the Hollywood laugh factory don't even try. Why'd you stop, malefactors...